What a first session is actually like

If making the first contact feels hard, aim for one small step you can manage - sending a short message, making a call, or booking online.

Decide where you will sit for the session. People often choose a quiet room or a place where they will not be interrupted. If you are using online video, charge your device and check the camera and microphone work.

Have a back-up plan in case of technical problems - a phone number to call or a second way to connect. It is fine to tell the counsellor if you are worried about technology before the session starts.

The counsellor or their administrator usually confirms the appointment time and explains how you will join - by video link, phone or another agreed method. The practical details are normally sorted before the session.

Sessions are often agreed in advance for a particular length of time. If you are unsure about timing or the way you will meet, ask before you start.

You do not have to use video if that feels too much. You can ask to use audio only, a telephone call, or to turn your camera off at any point. Use online therapy in a private space where you feel comfortable.

In a first meeting, a counsellor will usually ask about why you have come now, what feels difficult at the moment, and what you hope to get from counselling. These are common starting points rather than a checklist you must complete.

Counsellors also commonly ask about practical matters such as how often you want to meet, fees or NHS arrangements if relevant, and how they manage cancellations. They may ask a few routine questions about safety and current support networks.

If medication or medical concerns come up, it is appropriate to speak to your GP. The counsellor may encourage you to keep your GP informed, but medication decisions are for your GP or psychiatrist to discuss with you.

You do not have to tell your whole life story in the first session. Many people prefer to take time and share what feels manageable. It is OK to say you are not ready to talk about something.

If a question feels too personal or upsetting, you can tell the counsellor you would rather not answer it yet. You can also ask for a pause, a break, or to end the session early if you need to.

Wherever possible, the pace of talking about difficult things is agreed between you and the counsellor. You are entitled to steer the pace and set boundaries about what you share.

Some people find the first session useful for seeing how they feel with a counsellor. Others still feel unsure. It is common to try one or two sessions before deciding whether to continue with the same counsellor.

Changing counsellor after a session or two is normal. It does not mean you failed. Different counsellors have different styles and ways of working, and finding the right fit can take time.

If you decide not to continue, you can ask the counsellor for a brief summary, or for suggestions about other counsellors to contact. If you use this site, look at /therapists/ and our page on choosing a counsellor at /how-to-choose/ to find other options.

This directory lists counsellors who are registered with a UK professional body. Most are registered with the BACP; others may be on the NCPS or the HCPC registers. Counselling is not a protected title in the UK; these are memberships and registers, not licences.

This site does not verify, vet or endorse any counsellor as a recommendation. Use the information on /therapists/ and /how-to-choose/ to compare profiles and decide who to contact.

If you are in immediate danger, or you think you might harm yourself or someone else, contact the emergency services on 999. If you need to speak to someone any hour, the Samaritans are on 116 123. For urgent mental health support in England, NHS 111 offers an option for mental health by pressing 2.