Toby Messer, NCPS
Toby Messer is a psychotherapist who focuses on practical change and understanding why people feel and behave as they do.
- Stress & Anxiety
- Relationship issues
- Grief
- +18 more
About Toby
Toby Messer is a psychotherapist who focuses on practical change and understanding why people feel and behave as they do. He combines clear, action-oriented techniques with deeper reflections to help people make progress now. Toby draws on 11 years of clinical experience and holds the NCPS credential.
Toby uses approaches that look at thoughts and behaviours alongside attachment patterns and personal meaning. He helps people break down problems into small, manageable steps.
Background and approach
Sessions aim to make daily life easier and reduce symptoms like low mood or overwhelming worry. Common issues he works with include depression, anxiety, stress, relationship difficulties, grief and self‑esteem concerns. He also supports people with addictions, trauma and intimacy-related difficulties, and challenges such as sleep and eating problems.
His style mixes structured exercises with open conversation. That means using practical tools from cognitive behavioural work and skills from dialectical practice, while also exploring past patterns that shape current reactions. The balance is chosen to suit each person’s needs.
Toby offers sessions in English and accepts international clients. Therapy can be arranged as video calls, phone sessions, live chat or text messaging. Costs vary by region and sessions run on a subscription that can be cancelled at any time.
Registration
| Body | Registration number | Expires |
|---|---|---|
| NCPS | NCS15-01812 | August 2026 |
Registration details are as listed on the counsellor's public profile. You can check any number with the registering body.
Sessions and payment
Sessions are held online through our partner platform, by video, phone or messaging depending on the counsellor.
Costs are shown on the partner platform before you commit. If cost is a concern, ask about reduced-fee options.
Focus areas and approaches
What Toby works with
Everything Toby lists, in their own terms.
- Stress, Anxiety
- Relationship issues
- Grief
- Self esteem
- Depression
- Addictions
- LGBT
- Family conflicts
- Trauma and abuse
- Intimacy-related issues
- Eating disorders
- Sleeping disorders
- Parenting issues
- Anger management
- Career difficulties
- Bipolar disorder
- Coping with life changes
- Coaching
- Compassion fatigue
- ADHD
- Abandonment
- Aging and geriatric issues
- Antisocial personality
- Attachment issues
- BDSM, kink, and alternative sex culture
- Blended family issues
- Body image
- Cancer
- Caregiver issues and stress
- Chronic pain, illness, and disability
- Codependency
- Commitment issues
- Communication problems
- Control issues
- Coping with natural or human-caused disaster
- Dependent personality
- Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)
- Dissociation
- Divorce and separation
- Domestic violence
- Drug and alcohol addiction
- Eating and food-related issues
- Emptiness
- Family of origin issues
- Family problems
- Fatherhood issues
- Fertility issues
- First responder issues
- Forgiveness
- Gender dysphoria
- Guilt and shame
- Hoarding
- Hospice and end-of-life counselling
- Impulsivity
- Infidelity
- Isolation / loneliness
- Jealousy
- Life purpose
- Men's issues
- Midlife crisis
- Veteran and Armed Forces Issues
- Money and financial issues
- Mood disorders
- Multicultural concerns
- Narcissism
- Obsessions, compulsions, and OCD
- Panic disorder and panic attacks
- Paranoia
- Personality disorders
- Phobias
- Polyamory / non-monogamous relationships
- Postpartum depression
- Post-traumatic stress
- Pregnancy and childbirth
- Process addiction (porn, exercise, gambling)
- Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
- Self-harm
- Self-love
- Sex addiction
- Sexual assault and abuse
- Sexual dysfunction
- Sexuality
- Social anxiety and phobia
- Trichotillomania
- Workplace issues
- Young adult issues
Approaches Toby lists
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
- Attachment-Based Therapy
- Client-Centred Therapy
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
- Existential Therapy
- Jungian Therapy
- Mindfulness Therapy
- Motivational Interviewing
- Psychodynamic Therapy
- Solution-Focused Therapy
- Trauma-Focused Therapy
- Systemic Therapy
Listing an approach is not evidence of training in it. This directory copies what each counsellor names and does not check training records.
Online support
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) works on changing thinking and behaviour patterns that keep problems going. It uses practical exercises and homework to reduce symptoms like worry, low mood or sleep disturbance.
Finding the right approach is part of the work together. The therapist will discuss goals and try different methods to see what fits best. Clients collaborate on which techniques to use so therapy matches their needs and preferences.
Online formats include video calls, phone sessions, live chat and text-based messaging, and each has practical benefits. Video calls let people read facial cues and work closely with exercises. Phone sessions can be quicker and need less bandwidth. Live chat and messaging suit shorter check-ins or days when typing feels easier. These options make it simpler to fit therapy around work, travel or caregiving commitments and help keep continuity when life is busy.
Frequently asked
What concerns does this counsellor commonly help with?
Toby commonly helps people with depression, anxiety, stress, grief and self‑esteem issues. He also supports those facing relationship strain, addictions, trauma and sleep or eating difficulties.
How would you describe the therapy style?
The approach blends practical, skills-based methods with reflective, attachment-focused work. Sessions mix structured exercises and open conversation to address immediate problems and deeper patterns.
How much experience does this therapist have?
He has 11 years of clinical experience working with a wide range of concerns and presenting issues.
What credentials and location are listed?
The profile shows the NCPS credential and lists the United Kingdom as the therapist’s location.
Are sessions offered in other languages or internationally?
Sessions are offered in English and the therapist accepts international clients.
Which session formats are available?
Therapy is available by video call, phone sessions, live chat and text-based messaging to suit different needs and schedules.
How are costs and payments handled?
Costs vary with location and therapist availability; sessions are provided through a subscription model that can be cancelled at any time.
What steps are needed to begin therapy?
Choose the Start Therapy button, complete a short matching questionnaire, and schedule according to the therapist’s availability.
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